If you don’t know me personally allow me to inform you that I may be one of the biggest social media trolls when it comes to stupid health information. The one topic that “Really Grinds My Gears” (In my Peter Griffin Voice) is Cleansing. I know you have seen it scrolling down your time line and some one is on an all juice cleanse, a no food cleanse, a no meat cleanse, a no fun cleanse, or something equally as stupid.

Now don’t get me wrong if you are fasting for religious or spiritual reasons I feel ya and this is not what this blog post is in reference to, do you boo boo. This is in reference to those who believe if they restrict, omit, or painfully suffer through a lack of dietary sustenance that your body will automatically reset itself back to a previous and less toxic version of yourself as if you were infected by malware or something! And, I don’t believe any of you are running Windows 10.

As a matter of fact the reason why we would have to restore our computers back to a previous point is because computers do not have the proper systems in place to keep the junk out that would crash the system. We do……..sort of!

It is no secret that eating a Big Mac Meal, Large Fry, and Large Coke has an outrageous amount of calories (1340 to be exact) per McDonald’s 

Corporation and the fact most people won’t die immediately upon swallowing the last drop of your heavily iced Coca Cola beverage is a definite testament to the onboard system we have that actively tries to buffer stupid health decisions we seem to make on a regular. Unfortunately, it will catch up to you. Its like sawing down a Grand Fir with a steak knife; each light gash seems meaningless but trillions of gashes can bring the tree failing anti-gravity laws.


What I am trying to say is that the word “Cleanse” is stupid and more of a bandaid approach to health. Yes I agree that eating raw vegetables, reducing calories, and even juicing can all be beneficial to your overall health but the sheer notion that 3-7 days designated to cleanse your temple with Aunt Ruth’s Magical Dandelion Green Elixir just so you can go back and fill it with caca poo poo is asinine and extremely reckless.

You DON’T Need a Cleanse You Need A CHANGE!

The fact that you have to cleanse is evidence you may be addressing the wrong C word… and no not that one this is a kid friendly blog. Instead of trying to bide yourself some time in between beers, wings, and burgers let’s CHANGE our base of operation. Maybe what you need to take those same principles rooted in your cleanse….. Eating green leafy vegetables, less processed foods, stop drinking alcohol, drinking more water, you get what I’m saying, and make that the foundation of your nutrition. Take your 3 day every few months approach to sprinkle some fun into your life with your favorite pizza, wing, beer, or even the dreaded Big Mac Meal. It would definitely be a lot more advantageous than what you are currently doing. You got it backwards but I believe you can turn it around! Love you All!

Take Care Everyone, Be Healthy, and God Bless You!